As I see It

Journaling

2007-01-18T15:08:35Z

For a class assignment, I've been asked to log a journal of my readings for Postmodern Political Theory, which is a reading of mostly Nietzsche. Since I find it fascinating, I'll post my journals in this space. :)

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The first two sections of Beyond Good and Evil introduce the reader to a whirlwind of questions and possible stipulations that Nietzsche uses to break down the traditional prejudices of the philosophers. The first, and ultimately most important question is posed as a very basic examination of the most fundamental prejudice of all philosophers, and indeed all society. Nietzsche asks “Suppose we want truth: why not rather untruth? And uncertainty?”

In asking for the value of truth, Nietzsche is striking directly at the heart of all 'goodness' based philosophy in that he is revealing its most fundamental prejudice. Nietzsche readily accepts that the good may have value in society, but he asks why not selfishness, deception or lust? In the end, it comes down to a prejudice of logic. All philosophy has accepted that the definite and the certain is inherently of more value than the indefinite and uncertain. He traces this prejudice through the lineage of various philosophers and states they “all pose as if they had discovered and reached their real opinions through the self-development of a cold, pure, divinely unconcerned dialectic...while most often a desire of the heart that has been filtered and made abstract-that they defend with reasons they have sought after the fact.” Most philosophy, then, is but the personal confession of the author that seeks nothing other than to release its philosophical might into the world, an academic discharge of the will to power.

Nietzsche poses the will to power as that which a living thing seeks above all to discharge. It is pure strength in conviction of itself, the most common manifestation of which is the notion of 'self preservation'. Self preservation is in fact not equivalent to the will to power, but it is one of the indirect and most frequent results of such. An example that comes to mind is a Buddhist monk who chooses to set himself on fire, whether Nietzsche approves or not, this is clearly an example of the will to power that is not exclusive to what is claimed as the 'instinct of self preservation' in many circles.

The seminar discussion was extremely interesting in that it was at once fascinated with the questions of Nietzsche and seemingly abhorred by the extensions it seems to present. Truth, one girl said, must be accepted because it is simply what she desires to seek and she insisted she needed no further reasons. No, of course you don't, but the question remains, why not untruth?

A considerable discussion on the existence of and merits to Nietzsche's concepts of masks dominated the discussion. Of particular importance was a comment that equated the mask with the person itself, as the very thing it is. A mask is most commonly associated with that which is alien, other, or a concealer to the fundamental truth that underlies the external deception. To suggest that perhaps there is no deeper fundamental layer, to suppose that the adoption of masks is what makes a person who they are is an extremely powerful and liberating statement. It is not enough to recognize that others wear masks, or even that I wear masks, but to understand that the adoption of a mask necessarily alters who and what I am extends the image of the mask to the sort of primordial unity that I believe Nietzsche is trying to accomplish.

Attention was also paid to the distinction between true/false as a manifestation of dogmatic thinking. Truth over untruth, it was discovered, is a moral prejudice inevitably bound up with perspective. The value we place on truth necessarily implies a hierarchal rank that progresses from some level of absolute truth down to its certain opposite, falsehood. The problem, practically speaking, is that truth, whatever that may be, is claimed to be the top, the highest, the best, without any empirical evidence for having done so.

The problem I think we are experiencing in the seminars is one of traditional prejudice. The history, the sheer weight of all that is tied up in a word like truth precludes the mind from a fully complete understanding of what is asked of us. When words like true and false come into the conversation, there is already so much unconscious meddling in the discussion that it seems as though we cannot escape into a ground level dissemination.

So I pose it this way: consider two options, A and B. Why choose one over the other?
The answer, I presume, that would be most readily found is that one option poses some distinct advantage over the other. Suppose I choose A, I must for some reason believe that A is superior to B because of some practical applicability to my life. However, depending on the context in which the choice is made, B could certainly be chosen as the more powerful statement. Context, or position, then, seems to dictate the adoption of one choice over another. Simply substitute a TRUE statement and a FALSE statement into the two variables and I believe the distinction between the two seemingly opposite paradigms begins to break down.

A Poetic View of Abortion

2006-12-08T16:18:15Z

An anonymous person send this to me, I found it very poetic, fluid, and makes a good point:

An unborn child (fetus) is considered by many to be a potential human, but not an actual person until it is released from the womb. Although this unborn child is incapable of complex thought, independent functioning or of having a spiritual understanding of the world, it cannot be denied that this is a living organism.

As believers in the greatness of living things and the utmost respect for all the creatures of the earth, if we feel saddened by the killing of a seal, hanging of a chicken, or even the breaking of a branch on a thriving tree, what then for the living organism inside of you? Not only does this living creature feel, as any living thing does to survive this world, but it breathes your air, receives your nourishment and literally shares your blood. Why then should this unborn child be given life and a parasite should be eliminated? Through your actions, did you create the parasite? Did you make a choice to bring that parasite to life and then rip it off of your flesh?

The gift of fertility, the ability to bring life into the world was once considered to be powerful and holy; that your genetic makeup can be shared with another individual, that you could feed that individual inside your own body and that you could release that person into the world from the place it was first created. What is the difference then if a living sperm or egg does not reach its potential as contributing to the human being? Without interception, the sperm and egg will not become a human being. They complete their cycle as a sperm or an egg as the cells divide and die. With the choice to act in sexual intercourse, and that act resulting in a developing fetus, the fetus will develop into a human being should its development be allowed. Without interception, the fetus will continue to develop simply through the everyday functioning of the parent. The fetus, unlike the sperm or egg, is the whole being with all of its parts either currently existing or existing inside its genetic makeup yet to be developed. A sperm, however, contains only some of that potential individual which can only be executed into the whole being if the miraculous connection with the egg should occur when a whole being chooses to participate in the higher act of sexual intercourse that stills our mind and brings us, whether we realize it or not, closer to God.

Where Lovely Mermaids Flow

2006-12-06T19:42:10Z

I wonder, what is the allure of mermaids? Is it the fact that they're through and through water creatures, thirsty for what a man from dry-land can bring? Or perhaps because they are mythological, and what we don't know attracts us.

I've nearly completed my undergraduate degree in Political Science.

O rly?

Yes, rly.

What I feel qualified to do:

RULE THE WORLD

What I am practically qualified to do:

Volunteer with a political campaign
Drive a taxi
Drive political volunteers in a taxi

MY POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS.

You know what I miss? The feeling that anything was possible. In my mind, once you KNOW that anything is possible, you slowly start to stop feeling it. I mean that once the mind conceives of something, and truly takes it to heart, it stops being important to the self, and thus to the feelings.

Feelings are more like the domain of the unknown. Feelings let us know when outside cirumstances are turning us MORE into the person we want to be or LESS into that person. That reminds me, I wonder when I'm going to die?

Descartes said "I think therefore I am" which strongly suggests that there is more than one kind of substance that makes a person a person. There is something that we normally identify with "I" and then there is the "I" that knows it is the "I".

Think of it like a projector screen. I am being projected onto a screen (the outside world) by a projector, but no matter how hard I ever try, I can never be or know who the actual projector is. In this way, we are always mysteries to ourselves.

Curious.

Life And How Its Lived

2006-08-11T17:58:34Z

Wow Van Morrison, I say good day to you!

I went to see Van the Man the other night in Toronto, and MAN did he ever disappoint me. He had a pretty kickin Jazz band that I wouldn't have minded seeing IN A JAZZ CLUB ABOUT 1/100'th THE SIZE OF THE ACC.

He didn't speak to the audience, slurred a lot of speech, and walked off before the last song was even over. My God, what a drunk bastard. If he was here right now, I would say straight to his face that performance was a waste of my 64 dollars.

GDP per capita ranking

2006-03-30T17:51:48Z

1 Norway $42,400.00 2005 est.
2 United States $41,800.00 2005 est.
3 Switzerland $35,000.00 2005 est.
4 Iceland $34,600.00 2005 est.
5 Ireland $34,100.00 2005 est.
6 Denmark $33,500.00 2005 est.
7 Austria $32,900.00 2005 est.
8 Canada $32,800.00 2005 est.
9 Australia $32,000.00 2005 est.
10 Belgium $31,800.00 2005 est.
11 United Kingdom $30,900.00 2005 est.
12 Netherlands $30,500.00 2005 est.
13 Japan $30,400.00 2005 est.
14 Finland $30,300.00 2005 est.
15 France $29,900.00 2005 est.
16 Germany $29,700.00 2005 est.
17 Singapore $29,700.00 2005 est.
18 Sweden $29,600.00 2005 est.
19 United Arab Emirates $29,100.00 2005 est.
20 Italy $28,300.00 2005 est.
21 Aruba $28,000.00 2002 est.
22 Taiwan $26,700.00 2005 est.
23 Spain $25,100.00 2005 est.
24 New Zealand $24,100.00 2005 est.
25 Greece $22,800.00 2005 est.
26 Israel $22,200.00 2005 est.
27 Kuwait $22,100.00 2005 est.
28 Cyprus $21,600.00 NA
29 Slovenia $20,900.00 2005 est.
30 Korea, South $20,300.00 2005 est.
31 Greenland $20,000.00 2001 est.
32 Portugal $18,400.00 2005 est.
33 Czech Republic $18,100.00 2005 est.
34 Estonia $16,400.00 2005 est.
35 Hungary $15,900.00 2005 est.
36 Slovakia $15,700.00 2005 est.
37 Lithuania $13,700.00 2005 est.
38 Argentina $13,600.00 2005 est.
39 Oman $13,400.00 2005 est.
40 Mauritius $13,300.00 2005 est.
41 Saudi Arabia $12,900.00 2005 est.
42 Latvia $12,800.00 2005 est.
43 Poland $12,700.00 2005 est.
44 Trinidad and Tobago $12,700.00 2005 est.
45 South Africa $11,900.00 2005 est.
46 Croatia $11,600.00 2005 est.
47 Chile $11,300.00 2005 est.
48 Russia $10,700.00 2005 est.
49 Malaysia $10,400.00 2005 est.
50 Botswana $10,100.00 2005 est.
51 Costa Rica $10,000.00 2005 est.
52 Mexico $10,000.00 2005 est.
53 Uruguay $10,000.00 2005 est.
54 Bulgaria $9,000.00 2005 est.
55 Kazakhstan $8,700.00 2005 est.
56 Brazil $8,500.00 2005 est.
57 Libya $8,400.00 2005 est.
58 Romania $8,300.00 2005 est.
59 Thailand $8,300.00 2005 est.
60 Iran $8,100.00 2005 est.
61 Turkey $7,900.00 2005 est.
62 Namibia $7,800.00 2005 est.
63 Belarus $7,600.00 2005 est.
64 Tunisia $7,600.00 2005 est.
65 Macedonia $7,400.00 2005 est.
66 Algeria $7,300.00 2005 est.
67 Panama $7,300.00 2005 est.
68 Cyprus $7,135.00 NA
69 Colombia $7,100.00 2005 est.
70 Belize $6,800.00 2005 est.
71 Ukraine $6,800.00 2005 est.
72 Bosnia and Herzegovina $6,800.00 2005 est.
73 Dominican Republic $6,500.00 2005 est.
74 Venezuela $6,400.00 2005 est.
75 China $6,200.00 2005 est.
76 Peru $6,000.00 2005 est.
77 Turkmenistan $5,900.00 2005 est.
78 Gabon $5,800.00 2005 est.
79 Armenia $5,100.00 2005 est.
80 Lebanon $5,100.00 2005 est.
81 El Salvador $5,100.00 2005 est.
82 Philippines $5,100.00 2005 est.
83 Albania $4,900.00 2005 est.
84 Paraguay $4,900.00 2005 est.
85 Jordan $4,800.00 2005 est.
86 Azerbaijan $4,600.00 2005 est.
87 Egypt $4,400.00 2005 est.
88 Sri Lanka $4,300.00 2005 est.
89 Guatemala $4,300.00 2005 est.
90 Jamaica $4,300.00 2005 est.
91 Morocco $4,300.00 2005 est.
92 Ecuador $3,900.00 2005 est.
93 Guyana $3,900.00 2005 est.
94 Indonesia $3,700.00 2005 est.
95 Syria $3,500.00 2005 est.
96 Georgia $3,400.00 2005 est.
97 India $3,400.00 2005 est.
98 Iraq $3,400.00 2005 est.
99 Cuba $3,300.00 2005 est.
100 Lesotho $3,300.00 2005 est.
101 Vietnam $3,000.00 2005 est.
102 Honduras $2,900.00 2005 est.
103 Nicaragua $2,800.00 2005 est.
104 Bolivia $2,700.00 2005 est.
105 Serbia and Montenegro $2,600.00 2005 est.
106 Angola $2,500.00 2005 est.
107 Ghana $2,500.00 2005 est.
108 Pakistan $2,400.00 2005 est.
109 Papua New Guinea $2,400.00 2005 est.
110 Guinea $2,200.00 2005 est.
111 Mongolia $2,200.00 2005 est.
112 Bangladesh $2,100.00 2005 est.
113 Cambodia $2,100.00 2005 est.
114 Sudan $2,100.00 2005 est.
115 Moldova $2,100.00 2005 est.
116 Cameroon $2,000.00 2005 est.
117 Mauritania $2,000.00 2005 est.
118 Chad $1,900.00 2005 est.
119 Laos $1,900.00 2005 est.
120 Uzbekistan $1,900.00 2005 est.
121 Zimbabwe $1,900.00 2005 est.
122 Senegal $1,800.00 2005 est.
123 Korea, North $1,800.00 2005 est.
124 Kyrgyzstan $1,800.00 2005 est.
125 Uganda $1,700.00 2005 est.
126 Haiti $1,600.00 2005 est.
127 Togo $1,600.00 2005 est.
128 Nepal $1,500.00 2005 est.
129 Bhutan $1,400.00 2003 est.
130 Cote d'Ivoire $1,400.00 2005 est.
131 Rwanda $1,300.00 2005 est.
132 Mozambique $1,300.00 2005 est.
133 Benin $1,200.00 2005 est.
134 Central African Republic $1,200.00 2005 est.
135 Burkina Faso $1,200.00 2005 est.
136 Tajikistan $1,200.00 2005 est.
137 Kenya $1,200.00 2005 est.
138 Eritrea $1,000.00 2005 est.
139 Mali $1,000.00 2005 est.
140 Nigeria $1,000.00 2005 est.
141 Madagascar $900.00 2005 est.
142 Zambia $900.00 2005 est.
143 Niger $900.00 2005 est.
144 Afghanistan $800.00 2004 est.
145 Sierra Leone $800.00 2005 est.
146 Yemen $800.00 2005 est.
147 Guinea-Bissau $800.00 2005 est.
148 Congo, Democratic Republic of the $800.00 2005 est.
149 Ethiopia $800.00 2005 est.
150 Congo, Republic of the $800.00 2005 est.
151 Burundi $700.00 2005 est.
152 Tanzania $700.00 2005 est.
153 Liberia $700.00 2005 est.
154 Somalia $600.00 2005 est.
155 Malawi $600.00 2005 est.

Ok ok...Its Valentine's..Here's a lovey work

2006-02-14T17:28:33Z

I am he who sets his sights so high
And enjoys the journey no matter the result

I am healing and in healing may others be healed!
For with the love of God coursing through my veins
All things are possible.
I have stood in the doorway of a miracle
It is knocking on my door,
Entering my heart unexpected,
For love comes even in the midst of seclusion.

I am an aspiring monk,
My love for God is the guide
By which my quest is defined
The creator guiding my movement in this slice of eternity.

I picture our Earth
Mother nature being an angel
God's natural law at work in balance and harmony
As some of us disrupt and take all we can
I seek order and to give back what I have.

I have discovered a jewel
And will cherish it
For in cherishing is appreciation
And love is that which appreciates the unseen and unsaid.

I am a paradox
For as I love myself in honesty
I know another in closeness and truth.
And as I know another and our bond tightens
I care not for myself.

I am above all a spirit
My body is a temple
A walking prayer.
And I love a good walk.

I am not the words that I write
But they reflect an inner understanding.
I am not a conman in the night
Hoping to steal away love under cover of darkness.

I am not in love at what she gives to me
But rather what I can give to her
And what we can give together.
I love not because I need
Or depend or to comfort
But because I see a soul so completely,
That not to love it would be like death.

I am a poet,
But I do not throw around love.
I am a reader,
I read to learn from the mistakes of history
And to know how better to live.

I am a listener,
I listen without thinking of speech,
So I can hear what is said.

I argue too much.

I believe in Jesus Christ, fully and completely.
In believing my heart is opened to His truth and those of his brothers.
From Him all love is possible.

I wish the hungry to be fed
The poor to be working
The family to be woven
The loved to be loving
The loving to be loved
All life to be honored.
I wish the seed of divinity
That is planted in my heart
To grow unfettered by the cruelty
Of this material world.
I am he who loves you.

A Work of Mine!

2006-02-14T17:26:07Z

I'm going to start posting my work on here..I don't have as much to say as far as commentary goes. Rest assured, when I do, I'll post. For now, I'll post as much writing as I can.

-Daryl

Considerations Of Distress

Darkness nears
And minds begin to wander
To all the places we put our pain

And the echo beckons
Against the padded wall
Where once we were sane

How I’ve missed those carefree times
When my thoughts were carefree rhymes
So tonight let’s have a drink
And stop and think
Of all the ways it just makes sense
All those mornings
On the fence

Pin the ribbon on my sleeve
Send me home with all the gold
It’s less than nothing
For only love can break the mould!

Il fait neige!

2005-11-26T14:07:31Z

how beautiful the snow does fleet
more graceful than the ice or sleet

it cares not for the needs of man
it cascades down throughout the land

it falls without regard or thought
it knows not that what moves is hot

it shows itself and covers all
the holy and the sinner tall
dress us all in gowns of white
no matter if we deserve the sight

marriage of the earth and heaven
the snow is yes the angels song
notice how the souls engage
nothing now exists thats wrong.

snow on my love
for there is no storm
snow on oh Lord
till hearts are warm

Woah

2005-11-25T23:14:58Z

Woah.

What is this that STIRS? I've written about ten pages of pretty worthless material tonight. I didn't even attempt to keep up a pretense of form.

To move from internal calm to love is to open yourself up to something that you reserved only for yourself. I only ever really loved myself. Who else was worthy?? Well, plenty are. EVERYONE is, but I am incapable of loving everyone the way that I want to.

One love? Tis but a dream. It takes everyone to love the one for it to exist at all.

When I try, when I give myself to it, I am drained. I cannot love and be happy. This is my experience right now, anyways. There's a song called "To Be Alone With You" by (you guessed it) Bob Dylan. Great song.

I suppose the way to do it is to love completely and openly with every ounce of your being while NOT losing the ability to look within. I lost because I slept. I awaken and come to some realization, some truth, and the reason for it seems gone. But it's not, really.

God this is ramble. Terrible. WHAT HAPPENED TO MY MIND?

JESUS!

The Christ!

So what?

Guide me internally. That's what I want OH LORD. But its not about what I want is it? Never has been. Its been about what I need. To grow!

Ultimately, we grow alone. It is our purpose. To become the better, the higher and more absolute vision of ourselves.

I want to see the situation as God sees it. I see her as God does. Why not myself? I see her as God does. Why can't I detach?

Mock on, mock on, Voltaire, Rousseau;
Mock on, mock on; 'tis all in vain!
You throw the sand against the wind,
And the wind blows it back again.
And every sand becomes a gem
Reflected in the beams divine;
Blown back they blind the mocking eye,
But still in Israel's paths they shine.

The Atoms of Democritus
And Newton's Particles of Light
Are sands upon the Red Sea shore,
Where Israel's tents do shine so bright.

No fucking subject!

2005-11-22T19:28:21Z

indoctrination

why are we in school?

To what end does university deliver us?

What should be our pursuit? What is the priority?

Humanities, what is the good in them?

All education now is merely a vessel to the corporate structure.

The essential question, WHY has been erased from the collective mind. What AM I DOING?

so is there a barrier to ultimate knowledge and therefore I must dance away my troubles?

or am I just not trying hard enough?

or does it come in time?

Maybe dancing is a route to undoing indoctrination. And by dancing I mean smiling.

dwk @ 2005-11-04T09:11:00

2005-11-04T14:14:43Z

At last!
At last!
All will be revealed
From eternity
None shall be concealed.

Where old ferns hide
In shadows and lies
Where no gardener tends
The fern will die.

Sprout forth from the well of souls
Tis the root that supports the stem
Or close your eyes
And be more like them

Its up to you
At last!
At last!
Its up to you
To make it last.

dwk @ 2005-11-03T22:01:00

2005-11-04T03:01:30Z

Our goals are ALWAYS time oriented.

Our solid bodies, the fact that we're made of matter creates the insatiable desire to fulfill our ends within some defined period of time.

But consider the realm of the absolute, consider a place where time does not exist. Everything exists at once and all is known.

In this place that which is desired is given when one is READY. Not when one prays hardest, not one when becomes "Ok" with his surroundings.
It happens when one is truly ready.

I understand!

dwk @ 2005-10-20T22:15:00

2005-10-21T02:17:57Z

Woah!

hahaha

Sorry about that. We'll now return to our regularly scheduled programming. Sometimes in life you can be really motivated by the shitty things like throws at you and you work at something, with all your heart, only for it not to be.

This is life, I suppose. It goes where IT wants. If we become skilled enough to have some say in its direction, sweet! I'm working on it.

If we become loving enough to follow it wherever it goes, sweet! I'm doing it now I think.

To lose is not REALLY to lose at all. It is an opportunity to reassert meaning, to reevaluate who it is that you are.

WOW GOOD JOB BEING VAGUE AND UNINTERESTING

hehe... :)

dwk @ 2005-10-18T18:20:00

2005-10-18T22:25:19Z

Holy shit!

News flash!!!! Love is fake!

A lie!

A ruse!

Total sham. Total fucking sham. You'll never meet as big an optimist as me, but true love is completely and utterly fucking ridiculous. NO SUCH THING.

Compromise? REAL

Trust? SAFETY MECHANISM

Mutual Appreciation? FAKE AS A FUCKING OUNCE OF PURITY IN POLITICS

We settle. I suppose it's not any fucking secret, but now I know. Never ever trust your heart because nothing ends up like in the movies and real love is such a bullshit marketing ploy. Women pretend to give you everything, just to see if you'll eat it all up and smile from all the bullshit coming out of your mouth. I am a better person for having lost more than I'll ever have again, and thats a fucking grade A irony!

Fuck love. :)

dwk @ 2005-09-01T09:22:00

2005-09-01T13:25:24Z

I know! Shining down like water.
I wanna know
Have you ever seen the rain?
I wanna know
Have you ever seen the rain?
Coming down on a sunny day

And so the social experiment has begun. The Superdome is on fire, the military is being shot at, including helicopters and firetrucks and there is no coordination among the police.

The "chaos" has progressed so far as to gangs taking over control of certain areas. The police are looting businesses and shooting back.

Sounds like there are some very frightened citizens and police out there.

dwk @ 2005-08-05T09:49:00

2005-08-05T14:16:24Z

Please allow me to introduce myself, I'm a man of wealth and taste!

Before I begin, I have to let someone down easy. Today on MSN I was solicited by one Bryan P. Purins.

What follows is an actual MSN conversation:

-----------
Bryan P. Purins: have u written me in u yet?

DWK: No, although I do write romance novels on the backs of moist towelettes, I do not indulge in homosexual fancies. Please keep your advances to yourself Bryan P. Purins.
------------

True story. SPEAKING of story, I've been offered to partake in a little showy showerson show at the Tivoli in October! I'm pretty excited. There is going to be an allstar cast in the act this year! And some of my friends!

See what I did there?

Yah, the launching pad is a sort of rivalry between me and Kyle. We're brothers, or cousins, or uncles, and we're dedicated to the art of competition and stunts. Here are some of our ideas thus far:

-giant flyswatters
-cutting off a girl's ponytail
-pogo stick off the stage
-the old mouse trap on the ear routine
-the new ladder switch lagoon with a twist routine
-special poetry from DWK on fire
-how to shave your eyelids by Kyle

Most of those I just made up, but seriously, its going to be pretty hilarious. Consider this, for instance. During the entire course of the show my younger brother who sports the greasiest hair this side of Italy is going to be partaking in a FEAST on the side of the stage. Not just any feast mind you...He will start with a bucket of simple KFC and move his way onto Newt's Tongue, Bat's Beard, Llama's Leg, Battered Beatle Bile etc. So just for my own personal amusement he's going to stuff his face at the side of the stage. If that's not the funniest thing you've ever heard, well keep reading.

Enter man in a white t-shirt. Just strutting it on stage carrying a simple cardboard box. This is not any ordinary man, however. He has the word JACK written on his shirt and promptly sets the box down, gets inside and is never seen again. bahwhahahahahah

I'm sure we'll also be getting some help from totally anonymous strangers from the audience and inflicting great harm upon them.

Also joining in the festivities will be Blake BenHAM and Bryan P. Purins. Thankfully, Bryan will not be coming in his Elton John T-Shirt, because that might send mixed signals, if you know what I mean.

I'm thinking Blake should be determined to stop the show at all costs because he's insanely jealous of us. He then devises Wil.E Coyote esque ways to kill us but they all backfire or something.

Bryan hates all my ideas. Look at this stash of excellence:

-Lost biker from the Tour De France searching for his bike's tire
-Baker who comically ends up with pie in his face
-Baker who thought his script said "Biker" and comes out dressed in leather (lol)

Ok so maybe those suck. Shit, this is harder than I thought.

dwk @ 2005-05-27T15:15:00

2005-05-27T19:16:15Z

Sorry maybe I should explain myself:

View the version by the South Park guys here
http://www.lnreview.co.uk/media/journal/001842.php

My Quaint Little Version...

2005-05-27T17:21:10Z

A family walks into a talent agency. The Father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us."

The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute."

The Mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us."

The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."

The act begins as the Mother goes to push play on the boombox but in a wicked twist of fate, it eats the ancient mix tape as the Mother stands there horrified.

Not to let his one chance at fame pass him by, the Father springs into action. Punching the Mother in the back of the head he allows her to freefall onto the concrete agent’s floor with a resounding splat while he fumbles through his black trench coat for the necessary supplies.

To his right, the family hamster sits patiently waiting for his cue and his young son, 14, begins berating his cock in the whiniest voice imaginable. (it is no coincidence he is wearing a Christen Haydensen t-shirt)

“Get the fuck up! I said GET THE FUCK UP YOU LOUSY PECKER. Oh Peter Pecker I’m so sowwy, please…I love you…Just erect for me baby…Come on. Give me some of that ungh ungh chitty chitty yah”

At this point, the agent is about ready to call this whole catastrophe off. He is curious, however, about the gerbil that appears to be attaching a tiny coal miner’s hat to his head and what appears to be a fine tooth comb, duct tape, 8x10 picture of Liberace and a glistening gardening spade laying next to the now-naked Mother.

Sensing his Father needs another minute to prepare, the stark naked son leaps onto the agent’s desk and waves his mighty limp cock around in the bewildered agent’s face. “Tell Peter he’s pretty” he demands and at the agent’s refusal the boy starts smacking the agent across his face with one hand and limp cock while pulling a long string out of his feces encrusted asshole. Whipping his tail end around, the boy yells at the cowering agent to “PULL THE STRING TIGER TITS OR I’LL SCREAM”, and the agent complies. What follows is only rumour and cannot be verified.

Tugging tightly on the string, the agent sensed an almost euphoric feeling in his gut as a pound of diarrhea-esque liquid shit splatters over his face and the young boy goes instantly hard. The boy somersaults off the agent’s desk revealing the father digging out his wife’s asshole with a gardening spade and thrusting the gerbil inside for further excavation. The Father then sets his semi-conscious wife up on all fours, dives under her and begins playing the fine tooth comb that is duct taped to her floundering twat. As she opens her eyes, the Mother gasps at the sight of Liberace in front of her and instantly begins to belt out his version of “I’ve been workin’ on the railroad” while the young son plops his frothy, disease ridden member into his father’s asshole. Riding his father like X-PAC on a clitorisit, he whines “SUCK IT DADDY” and the Father sucks off his son’s now-shit-stained rod while the son takes over the reigns on musical comb accompaniment.

About this point, the Gerbil emerges from the murky depths, now decidedly lime-green and runs off into the corner of the room. The Father, hearing this, removes his mouth from his son’s member and begins blowing into his wife’s asshole like an empty coke bottle and slapping her backside with the bloody garden spade. Mouth agape and music in fine swing, five tiny gerbils scramble into the Father’s mouth and over the sounds of squealing and tiny bones crushing, yells “TADA!”

For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?"

And the Father says, "The Aristocrats!"

dwk @ 2005-05-17T00:50:00

2005-05-17T04:52:55Z

Well my TV was left on, so in the background I'm listening to a show called EXTRA which is all about Hollywood news.

The guy who hosts American Idol, Ryan Seacrest, just had his CHANGEROOM AT THE IDOL STUDIOS given an EXTREME MAKEOVER.

Installed in his room was fresh paint, three couches, a laptop, flatscreen tv, some giant cappucino maker as well as all the usual rich people trimmings.

Why in the name of holy fuck does a rich celebrity need to have his space made over? What a greedy prick. I just cannot express my outrage at this idiocy.

Its like a Beatles Song

2005-04-25T14:45:38Z

My Dream:

I enter a small restaurant as my Dad goes for some kind of a walk in a field behind me. Now the interesting thing about this small restaurant is that Bob Dylan is standing around, sort of fumbling with everything, he owns the place!

I go to talk to him and he's as simple a person as you could possibly imagine. His hat suggests a darker, more complex person, but he's not budging, at least not for me. I don't let my fanboy come out and I play it cool.

Suddenly, a robber bursts onto the scene with a gun. He points it at us and demands that we not only give him everything, but that we cook him food. He points the gun at me and says "You, kid, you're going to be my accomplice. Gather all the expensive items here and help the old man to cook."

I'm more than happy to oblige.

So I nod at Dylan in pretty much the coolest way possible under the circumstances and I can see in his eyes that he's already formulating a plan. I have a good one myself. As the robber is pointing his gun at the locals and looking around for valualble items, I start opening kitchen drawers looking for my weapon. I find it in a giant heavy rolling pin.

My hands touch the weapon and I know the plan will work. I can see it happening in my head, I've already got the fucker's trust, go for it! I stop, I panic.

Just as I start to summon the courage to do what I have to do, Dylan senses my plot and immediately grabs the rolling pin. He grasps it and turns to strike the would-be robber. Rushedly, I grab a large wooden spoon and ask the robber what he wants to eat in sort of a nasty way. He turns towards me, poining the gun at my face, punishment for my insolence. As he begins to yell, Dylan knocks the fucker to the floor, but he's not out cold. He starts to rise and as Dylan goes for another strike he is stopped and as the robber takes his gun towards Dylan's temple I can sense an absolutely overwhelming sense of anxiety, this was my plan, I should be taking the fall.

Instead, I summon the might of a thousand men as I brought the spoon straight across the man's head and finish what Bob had started. He goes down and with a few more knocks from Dylan's rolling pin, appears to be bloodied and dead. At this point, Dylan and I start talking and we really hit it off. I knew he was more complex, and I see all the reasons why he is. He knew I was also, and we go on and on. The cops are on their way and Dylan insists I leave through the back field as he will deal it all. I couldn't thank him enough.

I run out the back way and catch up with my Dad in the field behind the restaurant. He is standing with the flowers that bloom on the branches on trees. They're literally raised 8, 10 feet in the air and it is the first sunshine of the season. The flowers react immediately and one at a time make a large gushing sound as they open and spread their beautiful color around them. The color seems to spread everywhere around us like a magical potion of breathtaking abundance.

The speed increases and now all around us flowers are making the familiar popping sound as they bloom. Behind us we see an old man drag a lifeless body into the field and the body is immediately covered in the colored and magnificent dust-like susbstance. My Dad hadn't believed me about Dylan, but now he did.

Suddenly, we hear the sound of the cops coming our way. Only, it's not a siren. It comes in the sound of a swarming of bees and we see the biggest bundle of orange menace imaginaeable. He says he's seen this kind of thing before, so I follow him as he starts to run to the left. We run towards an old abandoned warehouse and as I look back at the immense bee tornado, I see it is anything but. It is four yellow VW Beetles with giant bees wings flapping frantically as the drivers scramble frantically to put sirens on their hoods. Its the cops alright, but what the fuck?

My Dad assures me it is normal and as I enter the warehouse he is gone. Thanks, Dad. :)
In the warehouse it is again, anything but. Its actually some sort of training room. It is filled with students and I fit in seamlessly, sitting down and partaking in the exercizes. Whoopie Goldberg is the professor, and she just sort of takes a hands off approach asking questions but providing no real answers. I wonder what body of research she works on to be a professor? I never think that she is a famous comedian, not even once. It never enters my mind.

The day progresses and then a man in a military-like uniform appears with a large stick. He starts asking us questions about the wall we see at one end of the warehouse. He starts asking "What would be the best way to implement solar panels on this wall? Where would you do it?" and I hear mumurs of answering the question by all the other students in ways that are totally unacceptable. So I muster up the courage, again, and tell the man that you should put the panel on the entire wall, leaving one small space for green tiling as it is necessary for the electronics that run to the battery. I'm entirely confused as I continue explaining my plan in detail as though I'm reading it from a sheet.

Turns out, I am. I look down to the sheet as I'm done and to my right I see a friend of mine. A medium-height, blonde haired, Dutch friend. I can't seem to remember her name but she is smiling at me and isn't worried that she had passed me the answer, that I was the one going to get the credit.

The military man was at this point by my side and as I looked up under his hat it turned out to be none other than Bob Dylan. He smiles at me like a mentor does his apprentice, and tells me to go get the materials I need.

I come back some time later (and yet right away) with two giant solar panels I procured from my mother because "she works for the government..But usually these things are an arm and a leg" At this time it's Whoope thats back and she says I should set the panels up on the coat racks, and I almost do, until I realize there's no fucking windows in this barn, how the hell is it going to get any power? Then, as I move towards one end of the large structure, i DO see a window and two guys moving towards it with small green coats. I ask them about it and they are honouring the American military dead in Rwanada. I quickly ask whether we are on Huttu or Tutsi ground, they say Tutsi and place the jackets in the window. As they adjust its placement, I see out the window to a world of ruin.

A real desolation row, impoverished and screaming in agony. The city groans aloud to me, it could really use my help. I go grab my solar panels, walk out the door, and begin to help. I don't hear the door slam right away, because somebody I recognized was right behind me...

After a lengthy time of hard work, I decide to take a trip to my cottage. To unwind, I grab my canoe and set out in the way I always do along the river. I am paddelling with purpose today, I am unstoppable. I come to the end of the river and enter a small watery trail and am moving faster than ever. Sometimes the water ends and I keep going on the grass and over gravel without losing a beat. My sheer speed keeps me afloat.

I keep going down the familiar trail looking at all the sights as I go, but I'm totally determined to do something, and I know exactly what. I've been here before in my dreams and usually the same result. I come to the end of the trail and keep paddelling on the stones and pavement that lead me to a giant canal. I drop down into it still moving fast and the boat cracks a little from the fall. Onlookers are amazed as they know what I'm about to do. I keep going, faster and faster with the boat taking on water, but I don't even bother wasting a thought on the problem. I approach the end of the canal and I go streaming off. My paddal goes flying as does my boat and I hear the roar of the onlookers all around me. There are small kids waiting to jump in on diving boards down below, and I navigate away from hitting them. I tuck myself into a ball and crash into the refreshing water.

Just before I awake a small child comes up to me and is saying how great the jump was and how he was reminded of Buster Keaton. I smile a little, but remain totally in charge of the situation. Then, he leaves me by saying "But I wish you hadn't paid Mini-Me to walk around talking smack about you"

I wake up. Woah.

Rwanda - Solar Panels - Military jackets in the windows - Dyaln as teacher - talk about God

escape - field - bees VW beetles

canoe - cottage - cliff

dwk @ 2005-04-19T17:32:00

2005-04-19T21:34:41Z

I'd like to say that just by virtue of reading this MANY of the things I'm writing about likely don't apply to you on any widescale basis.

To SOME extent, the things I'm talking about affect us all, myself included. But don't get discouraged or think that I'm putting you down. I'm not :)

dwk @ 2005-04-06T14:38:00

2005-04-06T18:39:52Z

It's terribly difficult to compete with nostalgia.

dwk @ 2005-02-14T12:34:00

2005-02-14T17:43:13Z

Stars look beautiful tonight
Ghetto Superstar!
Coming from above
Reaching for the stars
run away with me
to another place
we can rely on each other
From one corner to another!

I have a dangerous confession to make. You don't have a life.

Sorry to spring this on you all at once, but its true! What we perceive as an individual life is actually the collection of external dependencies with varying levels of comfort that arise from societal conditioning from a very young age.

It doesn't matter who you are or where you live, you are dependant on a certain level of monotany and SAMENESS from one day to the next. Each person and event in our life serves to quench a desire of one type or another, all basic instincts that have, more or less, served to "enslave" humanity for a very long time. What sort of slavery? Well not of the type we're used to, meaning, it is not an external force. All of our dependencies are a result of an INTERNAL condition. We've bred ourselves into a culture that rolls our eyes at magnificence. To be daring is frowned upon, and yet in some odd way, we're all drawn to it!

We cannot escape being drawn to daring, new and interesting characters in our lives, but the result is always a painful stagnation. Why? Our entire lives new faces and events will come across our horizon, but only replacing our old faces and dependencies. Nobody "new" ever really comes to you, only some new person to replace a dependancy now lost. Girlfriends replace girlfriends, boyfriends replace boyfriends. Best friends replace best friends. Teachers and prophets replace our parents. The circle of dependancy always takes immediate steps to complete itself anew.

Its interesting to notice when somebody that seems completely revolutionary enters your life, there is immediate anxiety as though you should be "doing something about this immediately!". Why do we feel such immediacy when new people enter our lives? I believe it is our true nature, our soul calling out for the circle of dependency to end, and true, unblocked growth to begin.

Cheers to the day we can all call that future home! :)

dwk @ 2005-01-12T12:22:00

2005-01-12T17:44:44Z

I met a girl who sang the blues
I asked her for some happy news
She just smiled and turned away...

Relationships! Oh my! They come in every size, shape, flavour, meaning and length possible. I firmly believe they are the backbone of our ENTIRE existence. I have a serious tendency to shy away from the serious ones, but perhaps only because they're not conductive to where I want to be as a person/soul/being.

It SEEMS as though when you enter into one (friends or otherwise) with the attitude "What can I get from them?" You are immediately DOOMED to failure. Whether you get married to that person for 80 years, date for 5 years or have a lifetime of love/hate, there is (in my estimation) no chance for an enduring relationship of mutual love when you start with the question "What can I get from them/What do I like about them?"

Now many of us will say "I never do that!!!" But we do.

Every time you feel seperated from those that you love, and in turn feel sad, you are experiencing seperation anxiety. You're experiencing A LOSS, where NONE exists! You crave the person (and what they bring to your life) in EXACTLY the same way you crave cookies, sex, bingo or watching naked iguanas do the tango. There IS a way to counteract the effects of this sadness/anxiety/sorrow/pain...Reverse the tradition of relationships! I believe it is time to overthrow everything we think we know.

I will suggest that the way to defeat this craving is to approach relationships asking "WHAT CAN I GIVE" to another. In all the major religions I know about, and in any sane system of morality, giving to others is the highest calling. It is how Jesus the Christ worked..It is how The Buddha worked...You MUST give to another, without desire for them to give you anything in return for ANY sort of lasting, fufilling, growth-enducing relationship to form.

Now, this does not suggest that the SELF is obsolete, it is infact, CENTRAL to the relationship. Despite what movies, books, poems and your best friend's sister tells you, YOU DO NOT COMPLETE ANYONE. They are complete as they are. Everyone is equally filled with whatever God's grace you wish to assign them. DOn't believe in God? Fine, they are equally filled with all the energy of the universe bombarding their physicality at every turn...Now, that said, what role DOES the self play? I believe it is central because we can never escape the questions like:

-What am I here for?
-What qualities in people do I enjoy?
-What qualities am I attracted to? etc.

The SELF must address these issues. You can address them as a couple, or as friends, but in doing so I believe you lose an aspect of individual identity that is conductive to REAL LASTING growth. We're not in relationships to "be happy" or "get happy" or BE, HAVE, DO or GET anything. We're in them to EXPERIENCE ourselves! When you give everything you have, you are truly affirming to oneself that you have them. When you give happiness or love to someone, you are telling the universe, "I have happiness and love to give!"

Therefore BE SELFISH first! Take the time to define yourself. Get a basic outline of YOU. If you don't, you can be swept away by the tide of another person who ceases to help you grow. When you give, you grow. When there's nothing left to give, there's no where left to grow. Know what I mean, Vern?

dwk @ 2004-11-08T14:59:00

2004-11-08T20:01:38Z

If we were to find out that animals had consciousness, however simple it may be, would that constitute the worst atrocity mankind has ever seen?

If animals are indeed self-aware, we've got a lot of explaining to do. :)

Also, why is it that the things I enjoy writing are often shunned by others, whilst those works I feel are absolute rubbish are praised?